So I have this goal in life that is to be fit, but not too fit that it's unhealthy, to be fat, but not so fat that it's unhealthy, to be strong but not too strong, and limber but not too limber, and fast but not too fast, have fantastic bone density, and fantastic hair and fantastic skin and to look 10 years younger and generally be an all around bad-ass.
To succeed in this, I've begun to develop what I'll modestly refer to as, "The Donna Diet."
Now this is a diet designed for my lifestyle, to suit me. You might find some parts of it worthwhile, or you might not. Either way. See objectives above.
The first thing I have to acknowledge in my life is that I live with my parents. As a result, I simply do not have any choice in what I eat when I'm around them. In theory I do but in practice it's all passive-aggressive nonsense. Much like washing my clothes. I
should wash my own clothes and my parents
tell me to wash my own clothes but they always go into my room when I'm not around and take all my clothes out of there and wash it
for me before I even
get home. Then, when I complain, they say I should wash my clothes before they do. In fact, they do it because it makes them selves feel needed. Useful in some way. But they won't admit that. Getting old sucks.
But I digress...
The Donna Diet.
Since I really only control what I eat during work, I have adopted a very strict diet in this regards. In essence, I have to eat ultra-healthy during this time, and work out quite often, because everything I do now must be balanced out by the fact that once I get home, or the weekend hits, I'll be eating like crap.
Breakfast:
- One Eggo waffle. Preferably the Special K ultra healthy version but it doesn't really matter. The point is: One. No butter. No syrup. No jam. Just one, golden brown toasted, Eggo waffle. Don't even think about getting the strawberry ones, or the chocolate ones. Homestyle. Untouched. The point is -- you want flavorless carbohydrate texture. This is not what is supposed to taste good. The next thing is.
- Fruits. I generally have three or more fruits freshly picked from the backyard with whatever is in season. If it's berries, well, I have a small soupbowl of them. When nothing is really "in season", it'll be oranges from the grocery store. The point is, I want to eat so much fruit that I'm "full" but enough Eggo waffle that I'm "satisfied". You can get into organic or not with this debate but, really, with Oranges -- you don't eat the skin, so organic is really moot. You peel off the spray damage. Things like grapes? Yes, go organic. Grapes absorb stuff so even though it's washed you're still eating chemicals. Yum!
- One glass of whole or 2% milk
- One cup of coffee, half filled with boiled milk
- My special mix of morning vitamin pills
Do the commute. One hour later...
Pre-Work Detox:
- One small as possible decaf latte`. Again, boiled milk is key. This heat releases the natural sugar so the coffee won't seem so bitter. Starbuck's generally messes this up because the barrista's will leave the milk out to get to room temperature before steaming (because they're inept). Milk tastes better when it's rapidly steamed from cold to hot very quickly. It just does. Places like Pete's or Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf will add way too much bitter coffee so the latte is "watery". That's just gross.
Lunch:
- One medium bowl of "soup of the day". Now I happen to be a very lucky individual here because there's a "ma-owned" sandwich shop near where I work that makes their soup from scratch every morning. The great thing is, she doesn't add any salt to the soup. So when you get it -- it's "flavorless" except for the natural flavors of the ingredients. This is exactly what you want. You don't need too much salt in your diet and I know I'll get my "due" through all the foods I eat which I have no control over. As such, I'm over compensating here. My "Flavorless Soup" is actually a
feature. Why?
Post lunch Detox:
- Fruit. Again, fresh fruit from the backyard. If not that, an apple or an orange. I then couple this with unsalted, and unroasted, nuts. Currently, I use walnuts that I bought from Costco. Every morning just put a palm-full of nuts into a ziplock baggie, and done!
To drink during the day, I'm drinking either decaf coffee or water. Sometimes, I'll buy a carton of milk and microwave it (to boiling) and add that to the coffee. But, generally, I go for 3 milk-based drinks a day. Calcium and protein are good for you. Also, I don't care about growth hormones (big boobs done via milk saves me $10k in plastic surgery later on) so eff organic here, too. Most organic labeled stuff is Whole Paycheck bullshit. Just look for raw, flavorless food in your grocery store isle and you'll be doing great.
Why?
FRUIT!!!
Fruit should be the only thing you look forward to in your day -- outside of boiled milk. If you aren't
craving that peach, or pineapple slices, or apple... you're doing something wrong. The natural sugar is key.
Everything else in the world is just necessary texture that serves as the canvas for glorious, glorious fruit.
Then, do Pilates on Monday, Spin on Tuesday, sleep on Wednesday (or Roller Derby whenever that happens), Pilates on Thursday, and Systema on Friday.
On off weeks... it's:
Pilates on Monday, Spin on Tuesday, sleep on Wednesday (or Roller Derby), Systema on Thursday, and sleep on Friday.
Just depends on the travel schedule.
Labels: diet
