Assassin's Creed -- Part 1 of ?

This beings my review of Assassin's Creed - my most recent purchase for the X-Box 360.

The official site.

It began with a bit of surprise as I flipped through the instruction manual, (as my brother's cat chewed on the box the game was in).

Me: Since when is this a Sci-Fi game? The hell? I thought I'd be this cool ancient Assassin who ...

...

... oh I get it. Clever.

No. Not really.

So, whatever, game on, right? Right.

It all began very peculiar -- they're advertising their multi-cultural team? I guess you have to in the gaming industry. But, seriously, for real? Is that a disclaimer or some sort of feature? I still don't know what to feel about it. I mean, sure, it's awesome and all but does it really need to be advertised? Do they put a sticker on the box, a new ESRB rating, "B - Boobs on the team." Or, is it that they're going to be so racially/culturally risque that they've put a disclaimer that's all, "Oh, we have those types on the team, so it's OK to say/do whatever it is we plan on doing."

Really, I just don't get it. I don't think it adds to my experience, either.

Another thing that doesn't add to the experience is the whole sci-fi aspects to it. I mean, sure, probably later on the game it'll get deep and philosophical and profound and moving and make me cry and make me emotional and all that other stuff. But, really:

Why can't it just be Tenchu: Stealth Assassins, but set in Europe.. and observing key historical events from a European/Middle-Eastern Assassin's perspective? Sigh. You can't have everything I guess.

I digress. The game isn't that bad. Honestly, I actually enjoy playing it. Like most games, though, if I selectively ignore what pisses me off then I can actually have a good time. (God of War comes to mind).

---

The lead character animator needs to be fired. Or someone around there does.

WTF is Altair's problem with his walk?

Maybe I do too much Systema but anyone who walks with that amount of ma-cheese-mo through a crowd deserves to get beat up. Oh, and guards, don't mind the one guy with two swords hanging from his body. Nothing to see here, move along. Besides, he's only going to assassin-kill with that concealed weapon in his arm.

That I don't get.

Ok. You're an Assassin that takes all this time to come up with a cool ejector knife/shiv to kill people stealthily. That's hot.

But you walk around through town with a Big eFfen Sword and a Big efFen Knife strapped to your body. That's so concealed. That's not hot.

---

Speaking of swords -- Saving citizens is also very weak. I so could've done without that mini-game. The combat is probably the weakest part of the game. Again. May I repeat: You are an Assassin so you walk up and death-shiv one, maybe two, perps. The last guy obviously sees WTF is going on so he aggros and then aggros other guards. Insert Musketeer action here. Mouse-keteer.

BTW, did anyone on this multi-cultural team ever do Fencing?

Why not include the "toe-poke FTW" aspect to the already weak mechanic? At least that would've been witty.

---

"Gentle Push" is retarded. It just is. So I hold the button down and walk through the city and the guy looks like he's swimming.

"Part for me my children."

Why not just trigger the push when you're next to the people and visually represent it as such.

Oh, and about the visualzation of it: Again, WTF.

I wanted to see if they were right, so I walked through a movie theatre "gentle push"-ing my brother around to see if it made sense. It doesn't. Where he puts his hand is off, the strength of push is off, the stiff shoulders is off.

Please, someone on this multi-cultural team take up Systema. Please.

---

Pick-pocket mini-games just seem buggy to me. Very hit/miss. It could be that I'm not stealthy enough but I don't know, I do spend a lot of time practicing my "gentle push" and it's the same puppeteering button...

---

Climbing stuff is cool. Running around is cool. When you actually get to stealth kill people, it's cool.

The horse. OMG the horse. What happened there. Did anyone on this multi-cultural team ever ride horseback before?

The tail does not need to animate such that the top part moves slightly to show off the horse's bung-hole. Why not just animate the bottom portion of the tail? If I have to see the backside of my avatars all day, I'd really appreciate the lack of bung-hole view. K thx.

Oh, and that animator needs to be fired too. I don't see how the animation of horse-back riding has to look so similar to the animation of wolf-back riding in WoW. That is, the incessant hopping up/down. Quite lame.

---

I'm all of... 3 levels into it. I think this initial list of minor issues that just need to be ignored will go away once I get through the game. I hope. I'm usually a huge fan of stealth-based games+assassin's. I guess I just want more stealth with my life.



P.S. Since when does getting on your horse in front of guards a hostile event that'll cause them to aggro you? Likewise, since when is galloping by a hostile event? (Did they have horse speed limits then?). Do they suddenly notice all those shiny swords and weapons dangling from you? :P

Sattelite Radio broke, again...

So, I took it to my car people to fix this last weekend. It was fixed for, let's say, about one day. Then, it broke again.

Very frustrating.

Apparently, the text on the flat panel screen would get "stuck" on a channel even though I would be changing them. The sound would change but the display? Nope. Eventually, the device just spit out an error code and decided to stop broadcasting the radio.

Alas.

Now I have to yell at them to replace everything.

3rd time's a charm...

Why I love Mercedes, again

Badge out the window, listening to some Halcyon + On + On. And the guard eyes the car then me. Tapping the badge, he smiles as we make eye-contact, "Nice car." So I let him get a good look at its backside.

Why I love Mercedes

I'm buying gas on my way home from work. No big deal, watching dollars just pour into the gas tank.. $10.. $20... $40... knowing that in two days this ritual will be repeated. My wallet, the lamb. My car, the slaughter.

Turning, I slide into the driver's seat only to catch a glimpse of some old(er) man shuffling by and checking out my rims, and shimmery freshly-washed paint. Then we make eye-contact. He smiles, then points at me, then himself, then his open mouth.

I leave him with a smirk, cruising back onto the freeway lamenting the loss of Sirius.

~~~

Who needs a boob job, when after 6 years with the same car, men still hit on you / make in-appropriate gestures?

Sirius Sattelite radio broke - again

So, I have Sirius radio for the car. Attached to my super-[]D [] []\/[] []D car stereo.

Except, for the second time, the cable has apparently detached from my stereo, thus preventing me from listening to the Sat-radio.

WTF.

Are my installers just total morons (what is with mechanics these days?). Now I also have to drive my car an hour north just to have them fix it again.

What I wouldn't give to just have things WORK.

Is the economy really that bad?


Good thing I've got free installation fixes for life. Too bad that doesn't cover time, gas, mileage. Sigh.

Mercedes-Benz service sux, part 3

So, I got a call on my cellphone from the Mercedes lady.

She was very pleasant, "We've decided to go ahead and do a full replacement of the part. We'll call you when it arrives."

Good.

Now that occurs to me.. does that include the wood trim? Are they going to order the correct one? (Black birds-eye maplewood) Dang-it. Now I need to drive my not-so-happy-arse there and double-check. And also remind them that there's a mirror that needs to be replaced, while they're at it.

PlayStation Eye Tech Demos

This is just some fantastic work.

PSEye Tech Demos

The serious game applications of stuff like this is through the roof.

Mercedes-Benz service sux, part 2

So I get to the dealership early this morning so I can yell at the service people and not the poor lady at the counter who's just responsible for taking my money and giving me my keys.

Breathe.

I pull up to the service lot and the hot little rep in a power-suit heels her way over to me. A smile then a blink, "Weren't you here yesterday? Is everything ok?"

I sigh heavily, "No. I have a complaint about my service. Apparently, when the center console was installed, another part was damaged." And I point it out to her

Her eyes widen, "Oh, I see. I'll get your service guy... please have a seat inside.." and she stamers away apprehensively.

So I stalk inside, grab myself some of my favorite coffee - Flavia House Blend Decaf and grab a seat near my car, clutching my keys, protectively hovering over it.

Eventually, "Andrew" calls me into his office. So I growl under my breath, get up, walk into his office, re-seat myself and explain the situation. He doesn't seem to get it. So I take him outside to show him the damage. (Yes, I need the Psycho reaper music cued right about now)

He takes a seat on the passenger seat, sitting on my Glock logo printed hat_{(number 8)}. Teeth clench.

Breathe.

"Well, I'll have to call our upholstery guy and he'll touch it up for you."

Pause, squint, and a slow turn of my head meeting his gaze levely, "Your upholstery guy?"

"Yes. Replacing the whole piece is going to cost us, like, $1,800 at least. I have to go with the cheaper solution, which is the upholstery guy at like $150. If it doesn't look good, then we can replace the whole unit."

"Who decides if it looks good or not?"

"Well, within reason, it's a decision made between the two of us."

I narrowed my gaze, voice deepening, knuckles whitening, "So let me see if I understand you correctly. When I showed up to this service department complaining of peeling of the center console. Your solution was to have me pay $600 to replace the whole unit. You didn't even tell me there was this mythical upholster guy who could do it for the cheap. So what did I do? I had the part ordered brought the car in and had you people replace it. In progress, you people damaged it. And now you're telling me that you can fix your damages cheaply but I have to pay for a full replacement?"

He blinked, sighed, "Listen, I need to go with the cheapest option first... ."

"I need to speak with your manager. Perhaps I can convince him of the correct action that you seem to be unable to figure out."


So Andrew shuffles off and about 10 minutes later, here comes Mark. In fact, he didn't even realize I was the owner of the vehicle as he walked right by me first. Maybe he was looking for the man-in-charge, like my Dad, or some sexist bullshit like that.

I re-explain the situation to Mark. This time, while breathing. This time expressing how, "I realize that you're all about the most cost-effective solution for your business. And I guess I'm supposed to understand that as the customer it's OK for me to pay full price. While, for you guys, you're supposed to be as cheap as possible. So, yeah, let's all just screw our customers for all their cash because they're the customer, and they can afford it, so it's OK."

"Well, you see.."

"Listen. I'm not here to nickle and dime you people. I've been a customer here for 6 years and have paid, full, IN CASH every single time I'm here. The problem is your service people damaged my car and now you basically have admitted to over-costing the repair for me. How am I supposed to take this?"

He winces, slumps, "Well, what can we do to make you happy." I stare at him, "... listen. We'll make this right and I'll look into crediting your account for the replacement you had done.. let me get your contact information and I'll get back to you with this.."

And that is where we have left our hero. Next up -- does he actually call? Am I happy? I'd be really surprised at this point.


You know, Mercdes has been my dream car since childhood. Why is it turning into a nightmare?


Sigh.

Mercedes-Benz service sux

What is up with Mercedes these days? I go in for a Flexible A service, which they do fine, ok, whatever. But I also wanted my driver's side mirror replaced because it was busted when I was living in LA. While they're at it, they should replace my center peeling console.

What happens?

They order the wrong part, so the mirror doesn't arrive.

When they replaced the center console, they damaged another part.


This is why I need to buy a BMW as my next car. Either a 6-series or a Z4 that has a hardtop convertible (please come out soon).


This sh*t is such a waste of time and emotional stress.

Seriously. I get to work late. I have to leave work early. And the work isn't done or it's done incorrectly. WTF do I pay them large sums of money for???? Argh. So irritating.

That NYC thing

And, of course, that NYC thing.

The Ritz

And some picture from the Ritz..

Pismo

Here's the pictures I took while in Pismo, finally got them uploaded to Flickr. Enjoy.

Happy B-Day Dan

Peter Chung does Tomb Raider

I have no idea how I missed this one before but hop on over to GameTap:

http://tombraider.gametap.com/

.. then click on that Episode 10: Jim Lee thing but don't watch it, it's depressingly weak. Instead, scroll back until you get to Episode 1 and watch it through 3.

He needs to do a Lara Croft animated series in the vein of Aeon Flux. I swear.

Are you a Nerd? Geek? or Dork?

So I saw this test on a friend of mine's blog and I felt compelled. Apparently, I'm the "Modern - Cool Nerd". Oh la la.

Your Score: Modern, Cool Nerd

78 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 17% Dork

For The Record:



A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.



You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.



Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!



Congratulations!

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Games That Make You Cry

So, in the industry people are apparently trying to use, "games that make you cry" as a means of defining if video games can be considered an artform or not. Which always confuses me... as I've cried, plenty of times, because of video game stories.

Take Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Which I just passed last night on my flight out of D.C.

The last case ended with this sentimental moment of sisters reuniting, and some emotional statement of life, in general. That is, the past happens. Sometimes the past is really bad. But, really, you just have to forgive those things and people. This will then open you up to experiencing new joys.

Deep. Profound. Made me weep. (The dude sitting next to me, who couldn't stop trying to get in my pants, was probably weirded out. Not enough though because he'd always try to talk to me and ask me out on dates for when we're landed. FYI - I'm not a "pane talker". You Oregonians need to learn to just STFU!)

~~~

Although, maybe it's an American game developer problem. Japanese games, for some reason, have always moved me much more emotionally then American ones. Maybe I'm just old school. Maybe Japanese devs, "just get it". I dunno... . . .

Flying to NYC

I'm back from D.C. -- two hours late thanks to a "plane malfunction" and a 2 hour delay -- United Sux!.

Tonight, I'm flying out to NYC for some Gun Sepremacy training. I'm flying JetBlue. We'll see how that goes.

Gender Issues at the Ritz

So anyway...

I'm staying at the Ritz while at D.C. because that's how I roll. While there, I'm having issues connecting to the hotel network and so I call the Front Desk.

Front Desk (Woman): Good evening Mr. Djordjevich

Me: Good evening, I'm having issues connecting to the hotel network.

Front Desk: Oh! I'm sorry, I mean Mrs. Djordjevich

Me: ... Yes, well, I'm not being re-routed to your webpage to login and then proxy to the 'net.. . . .


...


~ddd

PC + Mac Gaming

So, back in the day, I used to be a very active PC gamer. Running "Network Games" LAN parties and everything. I even have a legacy in regards to this. The thing is, there was this PC Game "rut" that happened. Say, at around 2000. 2001. _{Or maybe I just got a cushy government job and tried to cleanse myself of this gaming addiction, and well, we all know how well that worked out.} At around this time, the Mac came out with a *ix-based operating system. So what's any girl supposed to do, but switch OSes? In the end, if you can't "ls" at a command prompt, you aren't running an OS worth a damn anyway.

So I switched.

For about 6 years, I've been very happy with this. I even bought myself a sweet G5 to show how happy I was.

Thing is... now PC games are good again and they look to be on the upward swing.. that, and I miss all my virtual-friends there.. It's like we'll be talking and they'll be like, "Oh you haven't played this????" (weird stare)... so I feel guilty. Everyone else is doing it... . .

So I'm going intel chipset. Dual booting. I'm convinced of this. I can't abandon the Mac completely.. but for Hellgate: London I'd do just about anything. Except, well.. I'll leave that to your imagination.

The dilemma is thus:

Power Mac Desktops feature an antiquated design. I just can't justify buying the same looking machine. I just can't. There's something about, "Well, why don't you fly to Akihabara and buy the parts off the black market and build a new intel machine yourself? It'd probably be cheaper, more fun, and look about the same." And, really, that'd be pretty funny.

The new iMacs are sweet looking but I don't think they have a good enough video card. Nor do I know how easy it would be to upgrade said video card. Also, I plan on going back for my PhD in a year, or so, so having a reduced footprint machine is great for travel/home use. My G5 takes up 90% of the space in my trunk, I have no back seat, and my passenger seat is for my purse. So, it's a bit of a pain in my ass, y'know? I like the reduced footprint of the iMac.. but the inability to upgrade? G'ah....! :(

I know I'm going to wait for January (new systems released) but... to iMac or not to iMac, that is the question.

Anyone out there game with a dual-booted Mac have some ideas? Help!

In Washington D.C.

Pics'll be uploaded soon enough. Let the psycho-travel month begin!

Pismo

I went to Pismo Beach this weekend, for a birthday party for a friend of mine. Was super fun. Pics'll be uploaded soon..

Michael Clayton [Movie Review]

Synopsis: Y! Movies, IMDB
My Rating: B

To summarize: This movie features your standard evil-corporation-abusing-poor-people plot line. If you're a trustafarian that finds quotes on the back of a Starbuck's cup meaningful - you might find this movie harboring a deep and profound statement on society. So, please, go see the movie so you have something else to complain about for no good reason. For the rest of us, the movie is... dare I say it... a bit passe'? What I wouldn't give for a movie about people who abuse the system to get multi-million dollar payouts, and corporations who, really are, just in for the money. Nothing personal, it's just business.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a terrible movie. In fact, strong performances by Tilda Swinton and even George Clooney carried the otherwise limp plotline along. In fact, I found myself just waiting with baited breath for the next scene with Tilda's character (Karen Crowder) rehearsing her speeches... Perhaps those little moments hit a little too close to home. What with conservative corporate woman attire, a neurotic professional, and a bit of that sink or swim. . . ..

One of the most distracting aspects of the movie; however, was Clooney's guy-liner. Like, WTF? I found myself ignoring anything his character was doing because I was obsessing over what kind of crack the make up artist was smoking to do such a terrible job. Is Michael Clayton secretly Emo? Like, in his Benz, does he rock out to Fall Out Boy? Is that why his restaurant failed? Way too much MCR blasting? Anyway... .