Mercedes service people are d!cks

So I get to the dealership this morning and Christy heels her way outside. Wearing this lovely lamb-skin black trench-coat, shimmery, and with that dishwater brown hair-color I'm convinced she needs to change back to blonde.

"Hi! Do you have an appointment today..?" And then a quirked eyebrow, slight smile forming on her lips.

"Um.. no, actually." And then I uncontrollably giggle, "It's much more absurd then that."

I motion her over, "Come take a look. It's really quite bizarre." and then I spin around to the passenger seat so she can get a real good look. I point to my license plate.

She blinks, "What the-."

And then I go and describe that I think when the service guy installed it, he must not've seen it.. Then I point out the chipped part of my car near the ignition and how it was cheaply painted over. Copious notes are taken on her clipboard but I can see the once welcoming expression turn to a deep seated fear and apprehension.

"I'll need to go bring the Service Director over."

I nod, with a bigger grin, "Oh, please do."

She click-clacks off and I follow her inside, scoring myself a complimentary cup of decaf Flavia House Blend. Something is on the news but I forgot what.

Mark eventually stalks outside and I motion him to the license plate. He's all, "Oh, we'll easily fix that for you. That's not a problem." Then I point to the damage near the ignition. He clumps down into the driver's seat and eyes it irritably.

"I don't know about that. We'd never do something like that."

"So you think I did it? Where would I even get that paint? It's not a nail polish color."

"Well, maybe not you, but someone else."

My stare leveled on him, a slight quirk to my lips, "I don't know. I think you guys did it. I mean, you can even see black spots peeking out from underneath. It's even shimmery. Like, the rest of the plastic is matte, but this one has a sheen. And, heck, there's even hair stuck to it. Like, the hair dropped on it while it was drying. Maybe I need to call Mercedes corporate with this matter."

Without looking at me, "They won't do anything about it." then to me, "You don't think maybe you chipped it with your key when you were trying to put it in the ignition?"

"No. I do think you guys chipped it and tried to paint it over with this white paint."

"I think you chipped it with your key. It's not paint. It's just that the plastic is half-chipped off so it's whiter. The top coat is gone."

Now I just paused. Breathed a little. Sat back in the passenger chair.

"Would you like me to bring in a third-party Mediator to help us come to agreement on this matter?"

Mark sighed, furrowed his brow, "No."

"Hm, I see. Well, I want the part replaced and I want my license plate back."

"I can't sit here and run your car over with a fine tooth comb every time you come in looking for chips and dings that weren't there before you came in. We were very careful this time."

"I understand that. However, are you saying its up to me to inspect the car with great detail every time I come here for a service? Am I supposed to take before and after photos?"

He growls a bit and gets out of the car, muttering, "We'll fix it."

And inside he goes, up to Christy, ordering her to order the parts. I wander up behind him and he looks at me, "We're taking care of it." and so I turn to Christy, "Are you guys ordering the part?" Before she can answer, looking to her clipboard, Mark interjects, "Yes. We'll call you when the part is in to schedule an appointment to have it replaced." and he walks away. Probably back to that Service Director cave he crawled out of.

I nod to Christy then, "Alright, well, thank you!" and smile my way out the door.


I need to call Mercedes Corporate.